The Little People and the Land Character Descriptions

NEW!!!

Mr. Antonio- Mr. Antonio is a virtual unknown in Little People Land until one day, when he appears to solve the murders being committed. No one knows where he comes from or where he lives. All they know is he is a suave, well-dressed man.

The Gay D.J.- He unmonumentally appears in Little People Land as the D.J. at the party.

Jane and Laura- Two amazingly attractive young New Yorkers. They have great fashion sense and were very nice as children.

Dogmen(Craig and Brendan)- A human and a dog were asked, "If you could have sex with any animal, what animal would it be?" They procreated twice and made the elusive dogmen. The dogmen were shunned from Little People Land and went to live in the backwoods. Despite the fact that they were both male, they too procreated and had a human boy named Niles.

Niles- He likes to run everywhere. Despite the warnings from his parents, he ran in to town quite often. He would yell incoherently and run back to his home and his cow, Betsy.

Joe- Joe is an old, crotchity, homophobic man. He lives, unknowingly, across from a gay, interracial cowboy couple. He owns the barber shop and lives above it. He is married to Lucia and they take care of their grandson, Parth.

Parth- He has no personality. He may be molested and/or beaten by his grandfather. Nobody ever sees them alone together.

Lucia(DEAD!)- She is an old woman having an affair with Ian. She secretly had a son sixteen years ago. She threw the baby in the back woods. No one else knows but her.

Ian- Ian is a 20-something playboy. Although having an adulterous affair with Lucia, he is in love with Emily. His brother is Rich.

Rich- Rich is the SCAT bus driver. He widdles pens in his spare time and buys lots of canned foods. He lives with Ian in the welfare apartment building.

Emily- Emily is from Germany. She was hired to be the new school marm. She enjoys reading romance novels and sometimes shares them with her classmates. She is 25. She lives in the loft above the schoolhouse.

Wesley- Wesley is a doctor in the children's hospital. He was married to a woman who commited suicide, leaving Wesley very unstable and slightly disturbed. He later married Kim. His hobby, which he tells no one of, is to build a plane behind the hospital.

Kim- Kim is 13-years-old. Once a young orphan named Isha, she is now married to Wesley because she has amnesia and couldn't remember how old she was. Her and her husband live together in the welfare apartment building.

Mary- Mary is Satan. She married Ankur, a mute construction worker, and together they had the devil spawn, Rob. Mary is a homemaker and started the Little People Land Welcome Committee. She also prides herself on being the town gossip. Her and her family live in the big house.

Yan(DEAD!)- Ankur's brother, Yan, and in-the-closet-gay, was married to Tylia and had two kids, J. and Niki. Yan's wife disappeared mysteriously on a camping trip and was presumed dead.

Uncle Ashley- Ashley, Tylia's sister and Yan's brother-in-law, recently lost just about everything he had. Some people suspected that he had something to do with it, but Yan doesn't believe that. Yan welcomed Ashley with open arms to live with him and his family in the welfare apartment building.

Niki- Niki is a 17-year-old slut. She works as a stripper.

Max(DEAD!)- Max is a cowboy, just like his long-lost brother Derrick whose whereabouts are unknown. However, he's gay. He just moved to Little People Land in hopes that people here would be more understanding.

Chris- Chris is Max's gay lover. He is also a cowboy and is black. The two live in the apartment above the post office. They open a gay bar next to their apartment.

Marceles- Marceles is from France. He dreamed of becoming a train conductor, but there are no railroads in Little People Land. So, he fashioned his car to look like a train car. With no extra money, Marceles rides through town by day and sleeps in his car at night. The entire town believes that he is crazy.