(Isha is carrying an armfull of flowers. She is prancing merrily by the stream in the back woods. She stumbles near where the dogmen live and cuts her knee on a rock. She starts crying. Niles comes up to her.)
Niles: Is something wrong?
Isha:(crying) I cut myself.
Niles: Oh, let me looks at that. Maybe I can help.
Isha: You're nice. Nice! Oh, my God! Everyone in Little People Land's so mean.
(Isha reaches over to give Niles a hug. As she does this, the dogmen appear from behind the juniper bushes.)
Craig: She's going to attack him!
Brendan: Stop! Don't hurt him!
(Brendan and Craig run towards Isha and Niles. Brendan pulls Niles away.)
Brendan: Run, boy! Run back to the camp!
(Like the snarling beasts that they are, the dogmen attack Kim. When they are finished and she's bleeding and unconcious, they throw her in the river and Isha washes ashore in the middle of the town. Isha wakes up and crawls towards the children's hospital and stops breathing. Wesley picks her up and rececitates her. Soon after, Isha wakes up in a room she's never seen before. She looks up and sees Wesley carrying a tray.)
Isha: Who are you? Where am I?
Wesley: I'm Dr. Yoondervood. You're in my apartment. You've been in a terrible, terrible accident. You crawled up from the stream to my building. I brought you upstairs and saved you. Do you remember what happened to you?
Isha: I don't even remember who I am.
Wesley: You have amnesia? Oh, this is wonderful.
Isha: What did you say?
Wesley: I said that that was terrible. Um, do you know where your parents are?
Isha: No.
Wesley: Hmmm. I'm going to go make a phone call. I'll be right back.
(Wesley goes into the other room and picks up the phone. He calls Mary O'Reilly.)
Mary: Hello?
Wesley: Mary. This is Dr. Yoondervood. I had a patient earlier. She, uh, wouldn't tell me her name, so I was wondering if you knew who she was. She's looks kind of young, she's got blonde hair and she's wearing a red plaid sundress.
Mary: Oh, that's Isha Bedham. She's thirteen, nobody knows what's happened to her parents and she was just about to go into the adoption program. Why are you so concerned?
Wesley: Oh, it's nothing. I was just wondering. Thanks.
Mary: 'Bye.
(Wesley hangs up the phone and goes back to Isha.)
Wesley:(sighs)You're name's Kim.
(Joe, Lucia and Parth are riding the SCAT bus. There is a sullen mood about the group.)
Joe: So, how was the train ride son?
Parth: --
Lucia:(whispering to Joe) He must still be upset after his mother, Maria, and her no-good husband left for that cult. What type of parents were they, anyway?
Joe: Oh. Well, don't worry kid. I'll put you to work right away in the barber shop. You won't get no money, but you'll have the satisfaction of working for your old gramps. Besides, you'll like this town. There's clean water, not like them Mexicans got down there. And the toilets are indoors!
Lucia: For God's sakes, Joe. Parth lived in Chicago! He knows about indoor plumbing.
Joe: Oh. Anyway, there aren't any of them damn gays. I'm proud to say that the past 65 years Little People Land has been homo-free! Homo-free! Homo-free! Homo-free!
(Joe continues to chant this as the bus rides down the street.)
(Max and Chris are standing next to their car. The SCAT bus rides past. They are standing outside their building with their matching floral print luggage, complete with handbags. Their arms are around each other and they're smiling.)
Max: I'm so glad we moved here.
Chris: Yes. This is a great town where people won't judge us for our alternative lifestyle.
(Max and Chris carry their luggage up the stairs to their apartment. They set the bags down and walk out onto, what the real-estate agent described as, the balcony.)
Chris: Wow! This is a pretty big balcony!
Max: I'll say! You know, this would be a good place for business.
Chris: How 'bout a bar?
Max: Yeah. A gay bar!
(They both chuckle.)
Max: You know, with your business savvy and my creative spark, we could make this the best gay bar this side of Texas.
Chris: We're gonna have such a good life together. Just think of when we get married next month!
Max: I can't wait, honey.
(Back on the SCAT bus, Joe is ready to get back to the barbershop.)
Joe: You two want to help shave some necks today?
Parth: --
Lucia: I'm sure Parth can help you. I have to go to the store. I'm sure you two will have fun, right Parth?
Parth: --
Joe: Okay... Well, this is our stop. See you at home, Lucy. Come on Parth.
(Parth silently exits the bus. Joe is right behind him. He slaps Rich, the driver, on the back. Rich starts to cry. Joe, taking no notice, leaves the bus.)
Lucia: Are you alright, sweetie?
Rich: Sure. I'll be fine. Where are you off to, Mrs. Cabaret?
Lucia: Oh, I have to get to the store and buy some canned foods.
Rich: Me and my brother, Ian, stock up on canned foods. Our apartment is overflowing with them. You can have some if you want.
Lucia: That's alright. I'd rather just go to the store. You never mentioned that you had family in this town.
Rich: Oh!
(Rich slams on the brakes.)
Rich: This is a picture of him!
(Rich takes a picture off the dashboard and hands it to Lucia.)
Lucia: That's nice, dear. Just keep driving.
(They continue to drive until they reach the grocery store, which is next to the welfare apartment building.)
Lucia: Thank you, Rich, you've been a dear.
(Rich lowers his eyes in a fashion that can be taken as bashful, or psychotic. He looks up)
Rich: Hey! I think that's Ian in the store! I gotta go pick up some old geezer in the next town now. But could you tell Ian that he needs to buy more cans of creamed corn?
Lucia: Umm... sure, Rich. Bye.
(She hops off the bus very quickly. Rich speeds away)
Lucia:(to herself) Rich needs a woman.
(She walks into the store. She looks quickly around, and spots Ian by the magazine rack)
Lucia: Ian!
(She walks over to talk to Ian. Ian looks startled)
Lucia: Hi. I'm Lucia. Your brother drive me around on the SCAT bus. He said that I should tell you to buy more cans of.... (her voice trails off as she sees what magazine Ian is holding) Playboy! My word! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Ian: Oh, um, no, uhhhh... it's for Rich! Yeah... Rich. He can't get a woman. I'm worried that he's gay. So I'm going to buy this to staraighten him out, you know, just in case.
Lucia: Oh, that's nice. You're so good to your brother. He needs a woman doesn't he?
Ian: Very much so.
Lucia: Well, I just came to tell you to buy more cans of creamed corn.
Ian: Thanks.
(They both go shopping around for their cans. They end up next to each other in the cash register line)
Ian:(in a suave voice) Fancy meeting you here, miss.
(Lucia giggles girlishly)
Lucia: Oh you!
Ian: Hey, Lucia? Do you want to come over to my place sometime this week? We have lots of canned goods.
(Lucia looks seductively into his eyes.)
Lucia: (speaking in a whisper into his ear) I'd love to.
(Mary is driving towards the school. She is part of the welcome commitee and going to make the new school teacher feel welcome in her new country. Emily, the new German teacher, is bringing her bags up to the loft above the one-room schoolhouse.)
Mary: Hello, hello!
Emily: Gutentag.
Mary: Oh, isn't that charming! That's Russian, right?
Emily: No! It is my native language, German. How dare you!
(Emily starts to rant on in German.)
Mary: Sweetie, sweetie. It's okay! I'm sorry. I'm just here to welcome you to our town! We were in dire need of teachers here, you know. I'm sure the whole welcome commitee would've come out, but no one else is on it but me!
Emily: Hmmm. I thought I saw two cowboys carrying luggage. Why don't you go welcome them.
Mary: Well, actually, they're gay. I can't welcome them to our nice little town. They'll probably try to open a nudist colony or something. You know how those gays are.
(Emily looks nervous.)
Mary: Anyway, I'm surprised you didn't move in to the welfare apartment building. It seems just about everyone but me lives there!
Emily: I'm not on welfare.
Mary: Oh, would you like me to explain it you? I know all about welfare, you know.
Emily: No, no. That's quite all right. I'm sure there's someone else moving in to this town.
Mary: Nope, just you and the gays.
Emily: Well, can't you just go check?
Mary: Well...
(Just then, Marceles comes riding by.)
Emily: Who was that?
Mary: That was Marceles. He wants to be a train conductor, but there's no train tracks here. He's a little...you know.
Emily: What? I know many people from my village in Germany just like that. My boyfriend had a cart shaped like a giraffe.
(Emily continues to ramble on about how small her village was and how many people were living there. Mary starts to get anxious to leave.)
Mary: Well, anyway. Um, I'm going to go now. If you have any problems moving in, then...um, you can call my son, Rob. He'll come over and help you if you need it. So, uh, see you later.
(Mary jumps in her car and speeds away.)
Yan: Okay, kids, I'm going to go pick up Uncle Ashley at the bus depot. Anyone want to come along?
Niki and J: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yan: Alright then, but I know two little kids who are getting a severe beating tonight before they go to sleep!
(J. huddles and shakes in a dark corner of the room. Niki runs to her room.)
Yan: Ha, ha, ha. I love being an alcoholic, child abusing construction working, may be-gay, sort of dad.
(Yan gets into his truck And drives to the depot. He waits a moment and Ashley arrives.)
Yan: Ashley!!
Ashley: Yaaaaannnn!!!!
(They embrace for a moment)
Ashley: Yan, I missed you so much.
Yan: Yeah, I know. Ever since Tylia dissappeared into the woods last tear, I have been so heartbroken. I loved her.
Ashley: Of course, man, she was your wife.
Yan: And she was your sister.
(The two ponder this for a while then get back into the car to drive home)
Ashley: Thanks for letting me stay with you and the kids.
Yan: Don't worry about it, Ash. You know I love you so I'll do anything it takes to help you back on your feet. It was sort of tragic that the nursing home you owned burned down. Then having your house blow up. Your own wife drowning in the jacuzzi, and then losing all your at the dog races.
Ashley:(cautiously speaking) Yeess. Yes it is tragic. And it's all true. It all happened! I didn't do anything!!!!!
(Yan parks the car in front of his house and leans over to hug Ashley)
Yan: Calm down, Ash. Nobody blames you for what happenned. You would never do any of those things. What could you gain?
Ashley: Uhhhh... nothing. Nothing at all.
Yan: Well come in and see the kids.
(Ashley gives Yan a hug)
Ashley: Thanks man. I love you.
Yan: I love you, too.
(The two walk into the house. J. runs away screaming)
Ashley: Weird kid.
(Niki is going out the door wearing hoochie wear)
Yan: Where are you going, little girl?
Niki: I am NOT a little girl any more! I am seventeen! I'm going out with some friends. I'll be home late.
(Niki dashes out the door and hops into a '69 Mustang.)
Yan:(yelling) I know where you're going!! To the strip club! Ya lousy whore! You're a disgrace to the family!